Miles since last blog: 25.6
Miles Total: 2999.1
Update: It's not midday and I have a place to stay tonight thanks to the good people at the Quality Inn. Do them a solid next time you're in the LC, they have a pool and spa. It rocked.
It's midday and I am sitting at the only restaurant in the small satellite city of Organ, NM, Thai Delight. Immediately the fact that this is the restaurant for the outskirts of the city sends me a message, "This place is going to be okay."
My mouth is burning a little from the Beef Thai Delight 'hot' I ordered and my intestines are already thanking me for not getting 'Thai hot' even at the expense of my tongues pleasure. It occurs to me that this has all happened before, my future is already someone's past and it's thoughts like these that pass through me like I through the small mountain range outside of Las cruces which Organ is at the base of.
Tonight, for the first time, I'll see family on my trip. My aunt and cousin are coming from Northern California for a few days to help me through vast and unpopulated areas for a bit. Secretly the help I needed was simply seeing them even more than help with water or food or shelter.
I've been thinking about the problems with linear thought and the illusion of linear time today as I walked. It made me feel very calm. I remember from Mathematics that with a complex problem we often did not try to solve or prove it directly. but instead built skills and tools which may have at the outset seemed without purpose or for some other purpose entirely. When we had assembled enough background tools and problems, we sought after the main problem. This is what I mean with the problem with linear thought, that too often we try to attack a problem or thought head on, when we do not have the tools yet. Were we to try to develop these tools on the way our path would stray too often and branch out wildly and eventually become too much to keep in mind at once. By taking on smaller problems that seemed trivial or fruitless, we can understand them so well that later when we need them we may simply plug them in to the spot they fit without much effort at all.
It's the same way that conversations come back to you from months or years back and suddenly explain a situation at present which you could not have figured out just then. It's the reason we chase down things that seem to mean nothing in the practical world and discuss and think on them, because maybe at some point in the future, it will be of need. We may not know this at the time, but in retrospect I see that there are somethings I have been chasing after all my life and assembling pieces to so that I can come to the answer naturally in time. There are something you just can't do in a straight line, there is no path to these places.
I've been getting the feeling that time is similar, we may perceive time as a linear unknown stream simply because it is the only way we have to perceive it. Certainly the world is filled with all types of light even in darkness that we simply have too meager eyes to comprehend, isn't it possible that the same is true with time? This is perhaps one of those topics I mentioned earlier which I explore with no reason to do so, but often the reason comes later and there is no telling which stream of thought will be important so I try to chase them all down with whatever tenacity they are worthy of.
There have been times when I felt like I was on the verge of something great, I wonder now if these thoughts were not in vain then were they just not a sense of local time. Perhaps those moments were the moments which contribute to some great moment of realization in the future and there seeming fruitlessness at present is not so.
On the road ahead not too far is Las Cruces and family, I feel calm and it is moments like this that I feel much closer to finding my place in this world, not the world of taxes and work and gym memberships that we usually talk about, but the real vast world we live in. For now, my Beef Thai Delight 'hot' is long gone and it is time to head back out on the road again.