Sunday, March 29, 2009

Goldsmith, TX: The Lone Star State

Miles since last blog: 22.6
Miles Total: 2667.4

Route

Another short day and early night. I found a place out of the wind and with a light so I felt obliged to settle in for the night rather than push on closer to the border. It was a hard day, I picked up speed in the afternoon with the realization that I could cross into a new state tomorrow and I felt light even. I hope this isn't some type of placebo, not crossing any borders in so long has taken a real toll on me and the possibility that that might actually be the problem and it could be alleviated shortly has given me a bit of hope and bounce. The bounce unfortunately has nothing to do with my shoes which never arrived and I now have no place to buy them until Las Cruces which will put this pair at almost 900 miles when they retire.

I was also called in off the street today and blessed in a small ministry, which was pretty cool I guess.

The down part of the day was that reality had forced my hand to cut something, I had to let my chance to teach at survival school this summer go. This might not sound like much to you but it is something I agonized over. I have a lot of things that need to be done this summer and even then will likely be in copious amounts of debt from this adventure that will no doubt haunt my future actions, but Survival School was a very important place for me and I saw the way it was able to touch people and change their lives. I can't say why, but there is something about being out there that can change a person greatly and for the good and it is a wonderful thing to be a part of. I feel that is what I have let go of for the Summer in exchange for other things that I care for or are responsibilities.

After I sent my email I walked slowly and for some time would tear up when I would think of what I had missed. If my legs had moved a little faster, been a little longer, if I hadn't taken a day of here or a week off there, could I have kept this treasure? Things along my journey have lined up as well though due to the speed, or lack there of, with which I moved. I would not want to trade my experiences or friends away even if I would have had others in their place. It is a curse that life is so short, that we have so few chances for so many things and what we can pass by.

I feel like life is one giant buffet and I have a stomach the size of a pea, I dream of all the delicious tastes and then break my own heart after I fill up on only one. Nevertheless, I'm not one who dwells, the decision and loss is in the past and tomorrow is a new day with greater opportunity and less pressure of speed and distance. I feel some love for this will come back at the border and with some loss already behind me.

I dream of seeing my friends, my family, my city-Prague, and of new foreign places like Honduras and Buenos Aires. I know some of these dreams will break my heart again, but a few will come true and they will be extraordinary. And the best part is that the dream of this walk will be complete, no regrets about things undone, no longing like I am missing a great adventure on my life checklist, I will be free to pick and choose from any dreams I wish knowing I will always have this.

2 comments:

Dixxe Doodles said...

I came to read your post early this am hoping to see you made another day and all was well. 900 miles on a pair of shoes it A LOT! Save one pair for Bronzing!
~Hozhoogo naashaa doo~ a Navajo chant meaning~ In oneness I walk.
Have a great walk today, and I hope you make that crossing with high spirits.

Anonymous said...

Hi there. I ran into you at a McDonalds in Odessa, Tx while picking up some lunch with my mom. I just want to let you know how amazing I think you are. Whatever the outcome, this journey you are taking is impressing people around you. In life, we tend to get pulled down so easily. We whine and complain about how everyone does us so wrong, and everything is so hard. Then people like you come along. You are such a positive and uplifting spirit. Whether you realize it or not, you are making a difference. Keep your head up and good luck and God Bless. By the way, Texas is so freakin' huge. Just driving across Texas is exhausting. But, you're almost there. The joke when we were kids was that all the trees are in Notrees. 'Cause there aren't any here in Odessa.